He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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