Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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