Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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