dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
