That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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