and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
