Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
