A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
