i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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