We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
