"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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