Barsexuality is the new black.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize