so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
