omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
