i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
These tits shall not be calmed
Damn victory sex feels great
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