you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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