VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
