susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
