Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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