Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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