so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Watching her eat just hurts me
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
