Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
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