I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
