i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize