dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
