Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
