I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Randomize
