Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i barfeds in our rink
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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