He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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