He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
