Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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