I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
