last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
