The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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