I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dignity is for republicans.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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