well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
