are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
