i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
