I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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