In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
