what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
