Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
