you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
