How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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