They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
