On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
