I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Who died my cat blue again?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
