garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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