weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
