then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize