You're completely useless in the revolution.
She announced her abortion via fbk
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
