Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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