I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
