Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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