Bisexual people are plain selfish.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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