I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
