her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
