Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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