it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
