Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
