u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
