I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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