i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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