I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
