I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
