Ambien. No doubt about it.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
