I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
