I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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